


Ray's Scoop

by agoodpersonrose



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Mutual Pining, News Media, Ray Butani Businessman Extraordinaire, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27592531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agoodpersonrose/pseuds/agoodpersonrose
Summary: After Ray publishes an article to announce the opening of Rose Apothecary to the rest of the town, certain facts get misconstrued, and a lot of assumptions are made about David and Patrick's relationship which need to be made clear.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer & Ray Butani, Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 43
Kudos: 161





	1. Chapter 1

The first time it happens, David tries not to think too long on it.

In fact, he’s pretty happy about it. A young couple come into the store, look around, buy a considerable amount of their stock on candles and massage oils, and as they are checking out, the woman who is paying says, very casually;

_“We always like to support independent queer businesses when we can.”_

David blinks, surprised, and then smiles and completes the transaction, but his eyes follow the couple as they leave the store.

“Queer business,” he says softly to the empty room. “I own a queer business.”

He lets the feeling of recognition carry him across the afternoon as he sweeps and restocks, and it isn’t until his business partner finally returns from his vendor visits that it sinks in.

“How the fuck did they know that?”

“What?”

Patrick pokes his head out from the back room and David startles, not having realised he was talking out loud. When he is met with silence, Patrick frowns and returns to the front room of the store, looking at David like he has suddenly grown two heads or something.

“You okay, David?”

“Fine, I’m fine,” David says with a wave of his hand, but the thought remains in his head.

_Are_ they a queer business? Sure, David is queer, and perhaps the women assumed that based on his appearance the business was automatically queer. But they had said it with such authority. As if they knew something David didn’t.

_Did_ they know something David didn’t?

He tries not to make assumptions about people based on the way they act, but he’s pretty sure nobody meets Patrick Brewer on the street and immediately has ‘gay alarm bells’ going off in their head.

The alarm bells going off in David’s head upon meeting him were far more linked to wishful thinking than anything else.

So, David goes home, bids goodnight to his business partner, and tries not to think too hard on it. It’s not until the next day that things get a little more interesting.

“Hallo boys!”

“Hello, Jocelyn,” David manages to get out through a squinted smile. The woman in question is clearly bubbling over with enthusiasm about something which can only mean bad news. Either she has gossip, or she’s coming to ask a favour, and David learned long ago that either of these things mean you should try to escape as soon as physically possible.

He tries to gesture as such to his dim-witted business partner, but to no avail. Patrick just smiles and moves to join David behind the counter, though David must admit he does draw comfort from the fact that Patrick’s body is there to physically shield him if at all necessary.

Patrick seems to lean into the concept too, as he presses his arm against David, who is momentarily blown away by the intimacy of the gesture before realising he’s only doing so while he reaches down and puts the price labels away under the counter.

“How can I help you today, Jocelyn?” David asks, when it’s clear that she’ll need a little prompting to get the ball rolling.

“David! I’m glad you’ve asked. I thought I’d come down and see how the two of you are faring. I know mixing a business and personal relationship can be tricky, you should have seen me and Rollie when we worked together at the café in high school! It was fight after fight after fight--”

“Has someone told you we had fallen out?” David asks, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion and staring at the woman in front of him. Patrick is uncharacteristically silent next to him which he assumes is due to him not having gotten used to interacting with the towns various brands of insanity yet, but it does annoy him, nevertheless.

“Oh of course not, I suppose you’re still in the honeymoon phase!”

“Well, we’ve not gone out of business yet, so yes, the store is kind of in its honeymoon phase,” David says sarcastically. “Speaking of, are you here to actually buy anything, or…” he gestures wildly at the products in the store, nearly whacking Patrick in the face in the process.

He dodges and reaches out to grab David’s wrist to keep him from swinging it again, gently placing it back on the counter with an invisible eyebrow raised in warning.

They are pulled out of their reverie as Jocelyn coos obnoxiously. “I’m just so darned happy for you boys! You know, I barely believed it when I read the article, you know how Ray can get over excited sometimes. Though I must admit, the picture you used sure did look cosy, and now to see it in person, it just really seems to work, you know?”

David feels Patrick physically tense up next to him but says nothing as Jocelyn continues to chatter on about something. He rings up her purchases and sends her on her way before finally turning back to look at his business partner with a raised eyebrow.

“Article?”

“Yeah, huh, about that, I was going to tell you,” Patrick stutters, letting out a small nervous laugh and avoiding eye contact. “Ray kind of forced me to sit with him in an interview kind of thing. Like, a chat, sort of? I didn’t even realise what he was talking about, I mean, we were watching TV, he was in his pyjamas, we were eating ice cream!”

“Okay, we will come back to your weirdly domestic relationship with Ray another time,” David interrupts, hesitating a moment before adding, “But do remind me to go back to that because it sounds like there is a _lot_ of blackmail material there.”

Patrick rolls his eyes but still looks nervous.

“So what you’re saying is, that Ray has printed an article, and now--”

“Well it sort of implies, certain things,” Patrick says blushing.

“Get it up,” David says firmly, gesturing to Patrick’s laptop still resting closed on the countertop from earlier. “I think I should at least get to read the damned thing.”

He hovers behind Patrick as he types in the information and turns the screen towards David, who begins to read.


	2. Chapter 2

#  Rose Apothecary Opens its Doors

### The Brand New General Store opens to the Public, and we have the scoop on the latest owners!

  
By Ray Butani

  
The Ray-ly News

  


It's official! The hotly awaited new store, 'Rose Apothecary' has finally opened its doors to the public. After months of waiting, one David Rose and Patrick Brewer have finally revealed their hard work to us! And it is a sight to behold! The town of Schitt's Creek can finally rejoice in having access to the bare essentials of toilet paper and plungers at the tip of a hat. And not a moment too soon if you catch my drift!

In an interview with co-owner, Patrick Brewer, and former employee of myself I have gotten a world-class exclusive into what it has been like setting up the store. I managed to catch the elusive character one night in the living room of our shared accomodation. We had eaten dinner together and were sitting down for a House Hunters marathon when I finally convinced him to allow me to interview him. "Oh, right now?" was his first response, but he soon eased into the concept of being centre of attention, and even seemed to enjoy it for a few moments!

In response to the question of why he chose to work at Rose Apothecary rather than keeping his job with me, Mr Brewer seemed to find himself getting hot under the collar. He pulled at his iconic blue shirt awkwardly and a flush covered his face, almost as if he was afraid to answer truthfully. "You know I was never intending on working with you forever, Ray," was his honest response, but then something a little more juicy came out! "It just felt right with David, like he had all these ideas and he was so passionate and, I wanted him to succeed."

Of course, dear readers, I couldn't let him get away with simply that! "So you wanted to impress David is the heart of it?" I asked, only for Mr Brewer to shutter up like a clam. "He had a good thing going and I wanted to stay the course with him."

Now, the journalist in me saw that there was more going unsaid, and dear readers, I apologise for not being able to share the salacious gossip with the town, but I am tied to my duty as a landlord, ex-boss, and friend, to keep what Mr Brewer said next firmly off the record. In fact he threatened me with his ice cream spoon over it. What I can say however, is that Patrick Brewer truly believes in the store that he, and his co-worker David have worked in, and perhaps, in the future, there may be more to say on that.

It seems that there is much that we may never know about my former employee/current roommate, and yet, it must be said that together, he and David Rose truly have created something "winsome", as the famous Moira Rose would call it! We as a town look forward to seeing the continued success of Rose Apothecary, though if it doesn't survive I must say personally, I am very much looking forward to having easy access to a Christmas World for the holiday season!

  


See Rose Apothecary's new website! RoseApothecarySC.com

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I know that photo is from Season 6, BUT, it just feels like one that could be used on their website or in a professional capacity, so for the sake of the fic please imagine it was taken in the first few days of opening... also maybe imagine the shirt is blue? But that is up to your personal preference)


	3. Chapter 3

“So, do _I_ get the exclusive, behind-the-scenes, salacious gossip that Ray is talking about or do I just have to assume that the whole town knows something I don’t?” David asks.

Patrick smiles awkwardly and shakes his head.

“It really wasn’t a big deal, David. He’s made it seem a lot worse than it actually was.”

“Really? Because it seems like you told Ray that we were in a relationship, or that we were _going_ to be in a relationship, and he then shared that news with the whole of the town.”

“I mean, the article doesn’t actually say--”

Patrick trails off on whatever he was about to say as David takes a step closer and suddenly, he’s caged in against the counter desk. Something like a whimper rises in his throat but he pushes it down.

“It just seems like I’m missing something, or should I go and ask Ray about it?” David asks, the timbre of his voice low and sultry, and Patrick can feel his knees just begging to buckle, to collapse his weight onto David’s solid form and let him hold him up, else to fall to the floor in a heap.

“You don’t need to- ask Ray,” Patrick catches his breath enough to croak out, and he watches as the nervous smile on David’s face shifts into something more predatory.

“Are you going to tell me what the exclusive gossip was, then?”

Patrick holds his breath a moment, unsure of what to say. He wants, _so_ badly, and it’s right here, everything he could want. David’s line of thought is very clear, and he doesn’t seem to be running from it. He’s not shooting Patrick sympathetic looks coated with rejection and disdain. They are closer to each other than they have been since their hug just a week before on opening night, the warmth of David’s body through his sweater seems to radiate through the space, and Patrick _wants._

So, he lets himself have it.

“Don’t you already know?” he whispers, and David’s mouth turns up in the corners in a pleased smile. His eyelids shutter closed and a look of pure glee, and satisfaction rolls across his features.

They’re kissing before either can work out who initiated, David pushing Patrick bodily against the counter with the full force of his strength. A tangle of limbs all culminating in where David’s tongue is tracing Patrick’s bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth and biting down with his teeth before realising it again and pecking it lightly as if in apology.

Patrick finds himself chuckling at the way David kisses; an organised chaos of emotion and sensation. He laughs when David gasps as Patrick’s hands trace the bottom of his sweater, dropping just below to tentatively touch the warm skin of his lower stomach. They press their smiles together and try to force a straight face to free up their lips for a softer embrace but still they smile, and kiss, and smile again, all teeth and hands and _wanting._

They only pull apart when the real world comes tumbling back to the forefront as the bell gives a hearty jingle over the door. David jerks away a little further than necessary causing Patrick to reach out an arm reflexively to reel him back in by the front of the sweater.

They turn to see Ray Butani, standing stock still in their doorway looking shocked, and slightly hurt.

“Ray,” Patrick manages to speak again after a moments silence. “Um…”

“I don’t know what to say,” Ray says, his facial expression dropping into one of resignation. “But I thought I knew you better than this.”

“Ray, look--”

“How could you not _tell_ me that you and David were, that you were--” he makes a far from elegant gesture with his hands which makes David grimace, and Patrick’s blush rises from behind his collar up to his ears. “You have no idea what that would have done for the sales of the article, it might have hit the top charts for the weekly Schitt’s Creek literary magazines.”

“Wait it didn’t even get into the top five articles from this _one_ town?” David interrupts, his look of horror deepening when Patrick turns to smile at him, silently mouthing the words “Top ten” with an accompanying wince.

“If I had had even an _inkling_ that the two of you were-- that you had, _feelings_ for--”

David frowns, his brain running a mile a minute in an attempt to keep up with the conversation.

“Wait a minute, what do you mean? You wrote about it in the article,” he says, looking between Ray and Patrick, who has switched from blushing to going pale, his hands gripping the counter in distress. “What the hell was all that _off the record_ information?”

“Oh, you mean the conversation about a second branch? You must understand, David, that Patrick simply doesn’t feel quite ready to discuss expanding the business at this point. You’ve hardly gotten the store open in the first place, it’s a little presumptive to assume it will be a success!”

“Ray, could you- um, could you give us a minute?” Patrick asks, avoiding David’s eye all the while. David eyes him and barely even registers the door has shut before Patrick is turning to him with wide, fearful eyes. “Look, David--”

“You were talking about opening a second branch?”

“What? I mean, yeah, kind of, he asked and I just said--”

“Patrick!” David exclaims, his voice reaching new pitches in his shock and horror. “You can’t go around telling people that! The store has _barely_ been open for a week, and what, people are expecting another branch in Elmdale, or _oh my God,_ in Elm Glen?!”

“David, I--”

“You’re supposed to be the business major, you’re supposed to be the one talking me down from the crazy ideas. I need you to get rid of all these crazy ideas and just, be the sensible one! Okay?”

Patrick is smiling when David finally meets his eye again.

“What?” he breathes out, his whole body sagging in his annoyance.

“So, the idea of me talking to Ray about harbouring a secret crush on you was fine, but the idea of him asking me about a second branch, and me telling him to keep that off the record and suddenly I’m crazy?” Patrick asks, his mouth twitching in barely concealed amusement.

“Well, it’s not like I knew for sure that you had been talking about that,” David defends, tugging at his rings nervously even as a small smile sneaks its way onto his face.

“Oh, so that was just an out of the blue, spur of the moment kiss, then?”

“I can be very spontaneous,” David agrees, the smile growing bigger as Patrick steps in and loops his arms around his waist, pulling him closer.

“Hey, David?” he whispers against David’s lips, his breath warm and wet as they draw ever closer together.

“Mhm.”

“Show me how spontaneous you can be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you thought in the comments ! 🌼


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